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Saturday, September 3, 2011

Me Time

So many times I have been told that I better enjoy it now, while I still can.  Me time, that is.  Call me naive.  Laugh as you think that I have no clue what I'm in store for.  You're right, and a bit wrong.  If you know me, truly know me, you'll know that I've wanted to be a mommy from the beginning.  My "me time" would be perfectly content snuggled up with littles, blowing noses, holding hands, changing diapers,  kissing boo-boos, doing homework, and laughing at jokes that truly don't make sense.  Sure, I don't know exactly what is in store for me and my family.  There will be heartache that I've never in my 30 years been able to fathom.  But, BUT, there will be a new love and joy that I've never been able to fathom either. 

It's the first day of my long weekend.  I woke up having to pee.  That happens a lot with this pregnancy thing.  It was still dark outside and I figured it was the middle of the night.   Through foggy eyes I saw the clock said 6:13 a.m.  Normal work day wake up time.  I laid in bed and checked my emails, facebook and played a bit with our registry.  I didn't fall back asleep.  I checked my list for the market and made mental notes of the things I planned to do today... bake mom and dad a cake for their birthday party tomorrow, go to the market, make a big batch of Cowboy Caviar to satisfy my craving, movie night with J.  Pretty relaxing stuff.  Somewhere in there I remembered that I never did get to enjoy my picnic on the beach this summer.  It's one of the things I said I wanted to do this summer.  We've been so busy with work and life that I just never got around to it.

On that note, I took advantage of the freedom I still have to get up and go. I didn't pack a picnic, but I grabbed my journal, my market list, and my camera.  I kissed my sleeping Jer goodbye and told him that I was headed to the market.  I was, eventually.  I drove through Tim Horton's and got a big ice water and a cup of chicken noodle soup.  Hey, you can eat what you want at a picnic! 

I live so close to the beach, to the beauty.  I drove two minutes to my secret spot.  It's not really a secret at all - but it's little, semi-secluded (depending on the time of day) and it's where I've made many memories with J, my mom, my niece and nephew, and one day with Baby Nella too.  What perfect luck that there was an old blanket in the back of the car already.  I snatched it up, along with my bag and my breakfast.  I traipsed through the sand with my flip flops flapping away.  I walked close to the water in awe of the peaceful, beautiful morning.  I laid my blanket in the sand and cozied up with my journal, my camera and my soup.  I sipped my hot chicken noodle and sat there feeling so happy, so peaceful, so close to God.  I felt relaxed.  That is something I haven't truly felt in quite some time.  My whole mood was different.  This felt right.  I wrote a bit in my journal and then enjoyed the beauty of it all through my camera lense.

I can't get over the beauty of it.  The sun IS that bright.  It reflects beautifully, perfectly in that calm water. 
Look how it dances on the water.  Doesn't it make you feel good? 

I love the big lighthouse.  Lighthouses remind me of J when we first met.  He is amazing and I love him. 

Right past this wall there is more beach.  A real "private" beach.  Private as in I'm not supposed to walk over there.  That is all.  I was amazed at the beauty of 4 white sleeping swans in the water as I first approached my spot. That is, until I realized they were milk jugs.  Nice.  My eyes must have still been a bit foggy.

I don't dislike the seagulls.  This is their home.  They're happy here and who am I to shoo them away?

I put my big, pregnant feet in the water.  I laughed as the cool water splashed my legs.  If it was any later, or any warmer, I may have contemplated swimming.  The market awaits and it's only 7:30 a.m. so I resisted.

Do you see the beach grass there?  That is one of the spots where about a year ago, Jer and I were taking our engagment photos.  A year ago?!  I still can't get over how blessed and amazing this year has been.

Before I left, I reflected on my blanket.  I talked to God and thanked Him for my blessed life.  I talked to my baby girl in my tummy.  She'll be here before we know it and when she is, we'll make memories and celebrate some "me time" together.  After all, my life won't be about ME any longer...and I'm okay with that.


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