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Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Butterflies in my tummy

Reality is setting in.  My bags are almost all packed and we set out bright and early tomorrow morning for the drive to Traverse City.  I remember what seems like just yesterday telling a friend that I had 50ish days to go.  I now have 50ish hours to go.  And then there were tears.  I need to get these emotions in check.  I have viewed the photographs and my "trying to hold back tears" face is NOT cute.  Neither is the "full on ugly cry" face.  I better master that deep breath, deep breath, look up, think of something funny, breathe, breathe method.  I hope it works.

I am supposed to be working a half-day today.  It's a challenge.  I just want to sit here and do wedding stuff.  There is not much left to do. I guess that happens when you're in the 50 hour final stretch.  J and I are going to get mani's and pedi's this afternoon.  He's never had one and I know he doesn't seem to thrilled, but he'll enjoy it.  Plus, I need those hands and feet to look purdy in the pictures.

On the agenda for tonight: make bouquets, boy flowers (ya know, those boutineery things that I can't spell), and pack toiletries and shoes.  Praying for a good day and great night sleep!  I 'bout to be maaaaaaried!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

A week and a day away

Can I be so cliche' and say that "the time has flown by"?  Well, my friends, it has.  Here I sit, one week and one day (plus 1 hour and 39 minutes) away from marrying my love.  My sweet, special, stubborn workhorse of a man that I love so freaking much!  I awoke this morning well-rested.  After the day I had yesterday I thought a restless night and bad dreams were sure to be what I had to look foward to.  Thank you Jesus, I was wrong.  I slept good.  Crazy dreams, sure.  Bad dreams, no.  I decided to take a quick peek at Facebook from my iPod before I left for work.  Know what I saw?  A message from a girl I've grown to love...not because I had to, but because of who she is.  My soon-to-be step daughter.  I'm not necessarily ready to be a step-mom to a 19 year old girl, but I couldn't ask for a better girl to be a step-momma to.  Here is the message I had from her:

So in a week we will be leaving for traverse city, in 8 days i will have an awesome step mom! this time has flown by lik crazy! so im sure this week will just come by so fast. I'm excited :) love you

Well, sweet girl, I love you too!  Thank you for making my day that much brighter.

That's how we get down

I can't imagine a life without a sister and a momma.  I was blessed from day one with the best of both.  My sister and my mom are two of the most cherished women in my life - my world.  We had a little getaway this past weekend.  We just packed it up for a night (bottle of wine in tow) and headed to Soaring Eagle...a beautiful little casino/resort. 

They surprised me with beautiful pearl earrings for my wedding day.  Thank you!  We laughed a lot. We played some slots. We danced and drank a little (or a lot.)  We enjoyed each others company and made some memories.  That's how we get down!

12 days

In 12 days I will marry my best friend.  I will say I do...for better or for worse.  In 12 days I will turn the pages of a chapter that's passed and begin to write the best chapters of my book.  That is hard for me to comprehend, because the chapters up until now have been pretty darn amazing. 

I was born into a family of love - my momma, my daddy and the best big sister ever, my Beckey.  That was my family.  That IS my family. There has always been someone to kiss my boo boo's, wipe my tears, share my laughter.  We took family vacations, sometimes big and sometimes small, but we were together as a family.  We surely had a great childhood.  I grew and we grew.  We had our challenges and overcoming them made us stronger...and closer. 

Babies were born and I was blessed with the most beautiful little niece and charming little nephew.  My heart grew.  It was so full.  I love those littles and I've watched them grow.  Somedays I think my heart might burst.  They make me laugh and bring me joy.  Those two make me so proud and so excited to one day be a great momma, like my own and like my sister.

I am having a hard time with taking on another name.  I am marrying into a family nothing like my own.  The only love ever felt from this other family is from my Jerry.  My sweet fiance'.  His childhood was nothing like mine.  His adult life hasn't been like mine either.  I love him so much.  I will honor him and cherish him.  I am blessed to be his wife. Whether I hyphenate or take his name fully, I will love him with all that I am and all that I have.

I am 29 years old, but feel like a little girl.  I'm a bit afraid of what's to come...leaving the comfort of what I've known for so long.  I'm filled with anticipation and excitement for this love I have and all the things to come.