I am overjoyed, thrilled, ecstatic, walking on sunshine - daily. Even during the first trimester, while clutching the sides of the bathroom sink, being unable to control that horrible gagging and puking, I PRAISED GOD. I did. I loved it all because I knew that it meant I was growing a baby and that? That is a blessing.
I've also had an internal struggle that nags at me every now and then. It's the weight thing. It's always been an issue for me. I was close to content with where I was right before we found out I was pregnant. I was almost there. So close. I look back at the first belly shot and then I get a reality check when I see present-day photos. Most times I smile. I feel happy and giddy knowing that my big ol' belly is our sweet baby girl. Sometimes though, sometimes it hurts. Today is one of those days. I woke up feeling down. Unattractive. I was burdened with the fear of thinking that my husband doesn't find me attractive anymore. Through tears I told him this and he did his best to reassure me that I was out of my mind...but nonetheless, it's not an easy thought to get out of my head. It's still there nagging me. Tomorrow I'll most likely feel different. I will see that big, beautiful belly for what it is and I will be okay.