Due Date

Today is 12.04.11.  I have written and typed that date on so many different things in the past nine months.  All for one reason though - that is the date our baby Nella is due.  That date is today, and well, I'm pretty sure this day will come and go without her birth.  I know that it is just an estimated day and that she wasn't going to automatically appear on this day. Although, the planning would be a lot easier if it worked that way.  I fear that I will go to sleep tonight with a slightly lonely heart.  I love being pregnant, but I'm pretty sure that I will love being a momma more.  I'm ready to have that opportunity.  Both Jer and I are anxious and excited for her arrival.  Sweet Jesus, I just want to hold my baby!  I am perfectly fine going a few extra days.  I feel great physically, for the most part.  Like I said, LOVING being pregnant over here.  My anxiety is set to get the best of me though if I don't keep it in check.  I pray for peace and for a healthy little baby and a nice labor and delivery experience.  I love that there isn't much for me to do except sit back and leave it up to God.  Sometimes there is great comfort in that.  Other times it's hard.  For now, I will take a deep breath and know that God is placing His final touches on our baby girl.  Before we know it, she will be here and this amazing pregnancy will just be a distant (but wonderful) memory.

A little recap and some catch up.

On January 14th, 2011 I blogged the following (on my other blog):

I WANT...

• to be pregnant
• to wear cute maternity clothes
• to go to bed each night with that slightly excited/slightly anxious "am I going to be a good enough" feeling
• to be a mommy
• to look at my husband and tell him that he is going to be a daddy
• cherries...as I've wanted them all day today
• to have a new hair do' (I will tomorrow, after 3pm)
• a big juicy burger with avocado
• a pedicure that I don't have to drive 45 minutes to get
• to go back to that place where (almost one year ago) my life changed when I said "yes"
• to lose these last 18lbs
• to be warm
• to hug my little niece and nephew
• to high five an old friend
• my step-daughter to celebrate "20" tomorrow and know just how loved she really is
• my sister to have a peaceful heart and as much excitement as I did when I had a few months to go
• my momma and daddy to have peaceful hearts knowing that their daughters are full of love and they done good
• my husband to feel like the man that he is - amazing
• to be hugged by Jesus

Four months later, we have this...
**I don't blog often.  I realize it's been 4 months since my last post.  I just so happend to visit my blog and read my last post.  I've been so blessed in the past four months.  Let's reflect...
I want:

• to be pregnant  - - I am.  Praise God, I am!  11 weeks today.
• to wear cute maternity clothes - - There isn't a need yet.  I can still fit into my regular clothes.  I will consider this a blessing for now.
• to go to bed each night with that slightly excited/slightly anxious "am I going to be good enough" feeling - - Oh boy.  What a feeling this is.  Just the other night I woke up in a panic about driving with the baby in the car.  Excited and anxious doesn't begin to describe it.
• to be a mommy - - I will be...by Christmas.  *tears*
• to look at my husband and tell him that he is going to be a daddy - - That was a good day.  We were cautious after the first test...and the second...but once I went to the doctor, we knew.  *love*
• cherries...as I've wanted them all day today - - no desire for cherries  right now.  Watermelon and oranges do the trick.
• to have a new hair do' (I will tomorrow, after 3pm) - - I've had my hair done a couple times since I posted.  I need to touch up my pink.  Maybe I'll  do that tomorrow.
• a big juicy burger with avocado - - Yep, still sounds delicious.  Better add avocado to my grocery list.
• a pedicure that I don't have to drive 45 minutes to get - - I just had a mani/pedi on Thursday.  It  was 45 minutes away from home, but only 5 minutes from  work.  My toes look pretty!
• to go back to that place where (almost one year ago) my life changed when I said "yes" - - Aww! I love that place.  I love my husband so much.  We went back to our place in February and loved every minute of it.  He is such a huge blessing to me.
• to lose these last 18lbs - - Um...well...that didn't happen.  They say I'm just going to gain weight now.  Eek.  That will be a struggle as I haven't seen the scales go up in over a year.  I've put on 2-3 lbs already.  I know that it is for a good reason...a great reason.
• to be warm - - Warm I am!  It was 80* this week.  Granted, it's only 50* and rainy today, but my bed is warm and that is where I'm snuggled up at the moment.  Sleeping is my new favorite thing.
• to hug my little niece and nephew - - I just spent 10 days with these precious two.  My heart was so full.  I miss them and love them so much.
• to high five an old friend - - I never did high five that old friend, but I have hugged and laughed and cried with some greater old friends.
• my step-daughter to celebrate "20" tomorrow and know just how loved she really is - - I surely hope that this is the case.
• my sister to have a peaceful heart and as much excitement as I did when I had a few months to go - - My beautiful sister  said  "I do" 15 days ago.  *love*
• my momma and daddy to have peaceful hearts knowing that their daughters are full of love and they done good - - I hope they never forget this.  Ever.
• my husband to feel like the man that he is - amazing - - I will always want this.  I will always want him to know how much I love him, cherish him, and appreciate him.
• to be hugged by Jesus  - - One day.   One day.